My children always tell me I am their best friend….I am happy to be, but something I always tell them is, "before I am friend, I will always be your mom and when you step out of line or do something I do not agree with I will let you know". I can honestly say I do say that and that statement holds a lot of truth in my home…and they know it at 5 and 3 years of age. When my children get in trouble most of the time they come back to me and say, "but I thought we were friends" and I tell them…"I am your mother, and as your mom I was not happy with the choice you made, because…(fill in the blank)...". I will always be their mom and I will alway put them in their place when I feel they are wrong. I will honestly say, "Hell NO, I will not solely be their friend, because (and I have observed this and seen this with people I know) when you become your child's friend, you get afraid of hurting their feelings…afraid of them running off…in return, they step all over you and disrespect you.  NOTE: I do not sugar coat my feelings or tone of voice when I talk to my children.

I know my kids are all under the age of 6, but with how crazy kids are todays…you just never know and quite frankly, I don't want to see my child on the channel 6 news. I worry about how they will develop and progress in this ugly world….it literally sickens me….So I want to start now. My children have an agency and they will use it. Agency, the ability to choose right from wrong is something my 5 year old does on a daily basis in kindergarden. I want my children to live a righteous, glorious, happy life.  I love them and as their mom I will always love them…I can never fall out of love with them, I may get disappointed with them, I may get mad, but I will NEVER fall out of love with them.

Since this is somewhat a journal of my thoughts and I know someday my children will read this…I just wanted to say parenting is not easy. Lately, I have been feeling the need to be the best mom EVER…sometimes my children tell me I am….the other times….they don't say that, but I am okay with that.

Growing up I never thought about what our parents go through raising us. I am not saying my children are bad, by all means they are not, but they aren't perfect. They make mistakes, they make a mess, they say mean things, they don't listen…but hey they are kids…Right? I get that, but I am tired of using that excuse (and I am tired of hearing people use that excuse). I am the disciplinary in the family and I hate repeating myself and lately I have found myself raising my voice a lot more than normal…too much. The old me minus one child prior to living in TX would have NEVER raised my voice at my children, I simply would just put them in their room and have them cry it out with the door closed…long story short they were usually tired and would just fall asleep. Back then my husband and I were super passive and I can honestly say it worked for us. We raised a happy little girl who was and til this day is very understanding of right and wrong and is fully aware that I (we) do not like to hear crying especially from someone who is not a baby. Fast forward to now and add on trials, a new baby, and other stuff that we have experienced…our parenting strategy has changed and it has us looking dazed and confused…thinking...What can we do to better ourselves? What can we do to stop the constant whining of a toddler? What can we do so that we can NOT yell? What can we do so that we can be more understanding and sensitive to our child's need? what can we do?…A lot of this is What can we do as parents because it is not the child's fault, it is how the parents parent the child…right? 

To kick off my new parenting strategy to help me not loose my cool and be more understanding and patient…here is what I am doing…starting the month of december I am going to do a test run and change up my parenting skills by: 

1. not yelling or raising my voice but I will still use my stern voice

2. cutting technology down by 50% (meaning no answering phone at dinner (dad), no work calls while at home (dad), no eating and being on the computer/ipad at same time, no tv on while eating)

3. Be more consistent as a family unit (not just mommy doing it) with family nights. A lot of times it is just mommy and the kids…so we will save those significant days for when daddy is home. 

4. Being more consistent with time outs

5. Returning back to crying it out in the room

6. locking mommy and daddy's door (My kids love to play in my room and it makes mommy upset…unnecessary mess)

7. Hanging the rules up on the wall so that they can see it and (maybe) say them on a daily basis to remind ourselves of the rules (We have house rules but we don't have it mounted in plain sight)

8. Use our manners more (they use their manners but I plan to introduce more)
9. Listen (sometimes I don't take time to listen to their needs because all I hear in whining)
10. Take a mommy time-out
*11. Say a prayer

I hope these will work. I feel like I have OCD when it comes to a lot of things that kids do or the mister does that bother me but as a mom sometimes I need to give myself a time out. so hopefully I can establish that before I start repeating myself over and over again and allow me to become more patient. My kids and my husband knows I cannot stand mess or crying so this list is basically to help me stay less stressed. *A happy mom = A happy home*